Our odyssey began shortly after getting married in 2022.  We talked about kids prior to marriage and knew I wasn’t getting any younger, and I had already talked to by OB/GYN about our timeline and got all the recommendations.  So we tried on our own for 6 months.  Ovulation kits every month showed the smiley face as expected, my periods were regular, but we had no success.   My OB/GYN referred us to the fertility clinic down the street and we kicked things off with the battery of tests in January of 2023.  My HSG showed one tube that was blocked, but they said maybe it’s just reactive.  They tried to push us to IVF, but with no insurance coverage and the clinic wanting $17,500 up front for an entire cycle (whether you made it to transfer or not) we all agreed to do 3 rounds of IUI before moving to IVF.  My AMH was low but not worrisome low, so they gave us some statistics and we started.  My IUI was canceled because they said the risk of an ectopic pregnancy was too great.   Then came IUI round 2, with different statistics, different meds, and no success.  Then came IUI round 3, with different statistics, different meds, a different procedure method, and no success.  Then came IUI round 4, with different statistics, different meds, a different procedure method, and again no success.  The nurse, not even the doctor, sat us down, slid us a pricing brochure for IVF and loan options.  Our questions about why statistics and procedure changes were answered with shoulder shrugs.  They said we were out of options…

It was at that point, we decided to get a second opinion.  Faced with IVF, we figured we’d price things out (still no insurance coverage at that point) and try to find the best option for us.  My brother-in-law and his wife also struggled getting pregnant and recommended the clinic they used, so we set up the free consult.  The doctor was amazing. He answered questions our first clinic shrugged at, he provided options for additional testing before we even talked IVF.  We felt very comfortable and very optimistic about moving forward with this doctor and clinic.  Our additional testing revealed I have insulin resistance and we started on treatment for that before we kicked off IVF round 1.  Round 1 had several false starts and required birth control to get to a base line, but in November 2023, we finally started.  We found an 18-month 0% interest credit card and put the entire cycle on that card, knowing we could pay it all off before the 0% ran out.  We ended up with 4 embryos that we PGT-A tested.  1 normal, 1 non-viable, and 2 came back with no results.  In January 2024, when we get insurance coverage, we started transfer of the normal baby girl embryo.  Unfortunately, the transfer failed.  At the doctor’s recommendation, we retested the 2 remaining embryos that initial had no results.  They both came back non-viable…

Summer 2024, we started IVF round 2.  I had lost 10 pounds, I was eating healthy, I was exercising regularly, I felt great.  The entire cycle felt great.  We ended up with 7 embryos that we PGT-A tested.  They all came back abnormal and non-viable.  Devastated does not even begin to cover it.  Then the doctor told us that having 10 out of 11 embryos be abnormal was a potential sign of a bigger issue and we needed to do genetic testing to see if me and my husband were even genetically compatible.  We were told that depending on what the test showed, we may never be able to have biological children, and that either donor egg or donor sperm would be needed.   I knew that going the donor route was not something I could ever do and my husband supported that.  So we waited, and prayed, and cried, and waited some more for the tests results to come back.  While on a hike in the middle of a National Park while I was on a work trip, the doctor called.  We were genetically compatible and both genetically normal. They had retested my AMH and it had come back lower than ever before, so he recommended round 3 as it was just a numbers game…

Signing up for round 3 was hard.  I was terribly sick, having major issues with my asthma, but time was not on our side and so we said this is going to be a F*** it round, let’s go.  At this point, we had only heard bad news possible so what’s the worst that could happen? Round 3 had false starts and a few hiccups. My husband was going to be on a work trip during the time of my egg retrieval.  We had to freeze his sperm, and I had to find someone to take me to the procedure and back home.  Thankfully my dad stepped up and was there for me.  I was miserable the entire cycle.  From being sick to having all the side effects to not having my support person by my side for shot time every night, it was rough.  We ended up with 3 embryos.  1 came back normal. Gearing up for transfer, everything felt different.  It was weird.  I had an overwhelming sense of peace that whatever was going to happen would happen and it would be ok.  In January 2025, we transferred our embryo.  And 10 days later, the beta came back positive.  3 days later, the number had more than doubled.  2 weeks after that, we saw the heartbeat on ultrasound.  2 weeks after that, we saw growth and development and a strong, steady heartbeat again.  We graduated from the fertility clinic at 9 weeks pregnant…

There are a number of things that helped me on the Odyssey.  First and foremost was therapy.  Having someone to talk to that wasn’t someone who loved me was invaluable.  I cried every session for probably 6 or 7 months straight, but one of my goals was to get to a point where I could talk about infertility and IVF and my struggles without breaking down in to a sobbing mess, and I got there.   Do I still cry? Yes.  I absolutely hate crying, but I learned that crying is just my nervous system’s way of regulating itself and I’m a little more ok with it now.  My good friend also got me a devotional book, “Anchored in Hope”, that I read throughout our Odyssey.  I had to put in down during round 3 because I was so angry, but I eventually picked it back up.  Prayer got me through the hard days even when there was no response on the other end.

I hate the phrase, “it only takes 1”. But in our case our one was our one.  Our doctor told us after our failed transfer that that embryo, just wasn’t our embryo and we would just have to find the one that would be.  I’m thankful that we found it.  But of course the odyssey doesn’t end with a positive beta and a heartbeat on ultrasound.  The odyssey doesn’t reach the shore until the baby is born and in my arms.  And then will come the decision of if we take the boat back out and start the odyssey again.  But until then, all I can do is continue to pray and wish fair winds and following seas to everyone else on the infertility odyssey.